When my Wife and I got married we had many nieces and nephews we wanted to include in the ceremony. Like other weddings you have likely seen or been part of, we used the kids as flower girls, “ring security”, etc… They were adorable! It’s always fun when the flower girl doesn’t know it’s “okay” to throw flowers and “make a mess”, or the ring bearer likes being the center of attention to the point it holds up the processional. That said, what about when the couple has children themselves? How do you include your children in the ceremony? After all, the wedding day impacts their lives as well!
Bridal Party
So this one is the obvious answer. If you have children, one way to include them in the big day is to make them part of your wedding party ( Bride’s Maid, Jr. Maid, Flower Girl, Groomsmen, Jr. Groomsmen, Ring-bearer, etc ). If you have a bridal party, it’s always a good idea to include them in an official “role” in your ceremony, so they know right from the beginning their participation in this moment is important to you. Trust me, it’s important to them!
Family Prayer
Towards the end of the wedding ceremony, I like to offer this moment to couples with young children. As an officiant, I will often say something like this, “While we are here today to celebrate this milestone for the two of you, today is bigger than just the two of you, there is a family involved in this moment.” At that time, I will usually invite the children to come join the couple in the middle. At this point, the family may hold hands or wrap their arms around each other. From there we take a moment and say a quick prayer over not only the couple, but the family as a whole, and for this marriage to serve as a healthy example to the children involved.
Ceremony Gift
During a wedding ceremony, it is tradition for the Bride & Groom to exchange wedding rings as a gift to one another and a symbol of their commitment to one another. But for a couple with children, this can also serve as an opportunity to include their children! Parents may choose to give a gift to each child to remember this milestone day with them such as a bracelet, necklace, stuffed animal, etc. This varies greatly depending on the age and gender of the child, but this simple act of kindness reminds the child this day marks something special in their lives.
The Pronouncement
The first time this happened, it was unintentional. I had the honor to officiate a ceremony for a couple with a young child. As mentioned above, the child joined His parents for a family prayer towards the end of the ceremony. But He did not want to go back to his grandparents after. However, He did come right to me! So I took the little boy into my arms for the concluding remarks and He joined me in pronouncing His parents as “Husband and Wife!” As the couple made their exit, the photographer snagged a photo of the couple in the foreground kissing, while their son and I high-fived in the background. It was a pretty cool moment. Since that day, I have had similar occurrences happen a few times where the children joined me in the formal pronouncement.